The Annual Performance Review I Didn’t Ask For

December tends to give you a performance review you never scheduled. No bonus. No feedback form. Just a vague sense that you were “very committed” and “could improve in certain areas.”

This year, the review didn’t come from training. It came from my calendar. An unprecedented amount of travel, layered on top of moving house, days out from a family Christmas trip to Malaysia. Obligations stacking up quietly, then all at once. (I guess I´ll figure out Christmas presents when I get there…)

Somewhere between booking flights and sliding calls to “next week,” it became clear: I bit off more than I could chew. Not once. A few times.

If I were to write the year’s performance review, it would still be short. Mostly because I’d schedule a longer one and then run out of time.

Strengths:

High output. Strong momentum. An impressive ability to make complicated logistics look intentional.

Weaknesses:

A recurring belief that future-me is more rested, more organised, and generally better equipped than present-me.

Areas for growth:

Learning the difference between momentum and capacity.

And accepting that just because something is possible, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to do it this year.

What stood out most, though, is that the overload didn’t come from bad decisions. It came from good ones.Interesting projects. Meaningful conversations. Opportunities that felt aligned - even exciting. The kind of things you don’t say no to because they´re intriguing, and aim towards the life you’re meant to be building.

Saying no to something bad is easy. Saying no to something good feels ungrateful. And that’s how the calendar fills up. Not with mistakes, but with things you care about - all competing for the same finite attention.

Which brings me to a small but intentional decision. Over the festive days and our family holidays, I’m taking a break from writing. There’s family time ahead. Food. Board Games and Books. A bit of distance between the calendar and the next idea.

When this newsletter comes back, it will evolve. Not incrementally. Properly. Into something new, more challenging, and well outside my comfort zone. Less rehearsed. Less polished. Always honest about the parts that don’t fit neatly into a weekly format.

According to this year’s performance review, that might actually be progress.

Thank you for reading this year- and for sticking around while I figured out what comes next.

See you on the other side of the break. Merry Christmas.

Jan